Newport, Wales — In a life marked by tragedy and resilience, sisters Theresa and Jan have spent decades grappling with the aftermath of their mother’s heinous murder. The traumatic event, which occurred more than 50 years ago, shaped their lives in unimaginable ways, leading to a painful separation that would last until this year.
On a December morning in 1973, eight-year-old Theresa walked into her mother Helen May Barnes’s bedroom, only to find a scene that would haunt her forever. Shortly after, she and her sisters were whisked away from their Newport home, embarking on a journey that would lead them hundreds of miles away. “I remember being told to ‘get out’,” Theresa recounted, “and being packed into a car with my sisters.”
Helen’s life was cut short by her husband, Malcolm Raymond Barnes, who killed her in the family home while the children slept nearby. The circumstances surrounding the murder remain chilling. Jan, then just five years old, expressed their frustration: “We were left to discover the truth through newspapers. Nobody ever explained anything to us.”
The sisters later learned that their mother had confronted their father about his drinking, demanding he leave their home. When she made this request, Jan said, “He knew she had to die.” That tragic morning, he took a hammer and ended Helen’s life just feet from where his daughters slept.
Following the murder, the girls were sent to a hotel near John O’Groats, Scotland, under dire conditions. Staff at the hotel became concerned about their safety, leading to the police being contacted. “That’s when my father confessed,” Theresa said. The aftermath saw the sisters placed into foster care, only to face further heartbreak when they were separated due to questions of parentage.
“Nobody took the time to explain anything to me,” Theresa lamented. “I was just told I was moving to London, away from my sisters.” This painful separation created a wound for Jan that lasted a lifetime. “This had been a lament in my life until I found her this year,” she said.
Perhaps even more shocking was the fact that, despite the trauma they endured, the sisters were never allowed to attend their mother’s funeral. “We weren’t taken to say goodbye,” Theresa noted. In stark contrast, they were brought to visit their father’s prison, a bizarre twist in their already traumatic narrative. Jan later embarked on a lengthy search to uncover the location of her mother’s grave, a quest she described as a “long battle.”
Both women have opened up about how their early experiences influenced their adult lives, often shaped by trauma and a lack of support. Jan described her subsequent time in an “extremely abusive” adoption as a crucial factor in her struggles with relationships. “I never learned what a healthy relationship looks like,” she said, reflecting on the violence she encountered in her early adulthood.
Similarly, Theresa has shared her harrowing experiences, revealing that her biological family was also marked by violence. “Our lives have been riddled with challenges, and we often had to fight through them alone,” she stated.
After decades apart, the sisters finally reunited this year, a meeting that has been described as transformative. “It felt like a part of me that was missing was finally back,” Theresa said, capturing the emotional intensity of their reconnection. “We talk almost every day now, often about our mother and the countless questions we have.”
Today, both sisters are channeling their pain into advocacy. Theresa works in mental health counseling, while Jan, still grappling with PTSD, speaks out on the need for improved resources for survivors of domestic violence. “Our experiences highlight a pressing issue that continues to affect many people,” she said, emphasizing the urgency for broader awareness.
As they share their story, both women are reminded of the broader societal issue of domestic violence. “It feels like we’re not making much progress,” Theresa said, pointing to statistics indicating that a woman is killed every three days in situations of domestic abuse. Their advocacy aims to shed light on the often-ignored experiences of children affected by such violence.
Recently, Jan obtained her first photograph of their mother, a moment she described as bittersweet. “I never even knew what she looked like,” she shared, reflecting on the profound absence in her life. She hopes her mother would be proud of her efforts today. “I’m trying to be the voice she never had,” Jan said, emphasizing the importance of turning their trauma into strength.